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If you are single and you want to get married, I have an important question for you. What are you doing to prepare for it?
Last Friday, Ptr Mel Santos tackled the 3rd topic on 50 Shades of Love: Love and Marriage. A lot of singles out there want to get married. But only a few prepare for marriage.
Preparation is key to success.
When you want something, you prepare for it. Preparation is vital because intention is not equal to ability. You may intend to do something, but if you don’t prepare adequately then your chances for success will be diminished.
For example, if you want to run a 42K marathon, you don’t go out and run it immediately. You need to prepare for it everyday. You run regularly going a little further each day until you are able to run a 42K.
In the same way, just because you say “I do” doesn’t make you capable. Promises are no substitute for preparation. Marriage is the most significant relationship we can have next to God. What are you doing to prepare for it?
Intention is not equal to ability.
-Pastor Mel Santos
Whatever you do today influences your future. We continually look for Mr. or Ms. Right, but have you committed to growing yourself to be the right person?
Would you marry, you?
It’s not about being perfect. It’s simply about having the desire to change for the better and working at it everyday. You become what you continually do.
Commit now to becoming someone who can keep commitments later. If you want to be a good spouse, start preparing yourself now.
So how does one prepare for marriage?
Address any unresolved childhood or current issues.
If you get married without resolving your issues, you will bring your emotional baggage into your marriage. This is not only unfair to your spouse but also damaging to your marriage.
If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you’ve done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart.
– Les and Leslie Parrott
Check your most important relationships.
How is your relationship with God?
How is your relationship with your parents?
How are you with work?
Get out of debt.
Starting your marriage while you’re in debt isn’t a good way to begin. So if you are in debt, get out of it first before getting married.
Get involved with a local bible-based church in terms of ministry and serving others.
Once you start serving other people instead of just thinking of yourself, your character grows. You will acquire patience, kindness and true joy of serving others – traits that are needed in marriage.
List of qualities we should look for in a future spouse:
- Loves God and others
- Spiritually mature
- Emotionally mature
- Spiritual leader
- Able to provide (man)
- Respectful (woman)
- Has integrity and character
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Commit now to start becoming the person you should be. Take steps to change your habits. Grow. Be better. When you do this you will become the worthy person that you are looking for.
“In His wisdom, God brings two people together to balance each other, to fill each other’s gaps. They are stronger as a team than they were as individuals. They are two independent people who choose to become interdependent.”
-Davie Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love
Commit to the process of becoming the person worth pursuing, worth winning and worth loving.