How to Discern Gods Will In Choosing a Job or Life Partner

just do something deyoung

Wisdom is needed to make Godly choices. But the question is, how do we discern what God’s will for us is?

I was talking to my accountability partner, Mandy, the other day and she recommended to me a book by Kevin DeYoungJust Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will. In his book, DeYoung enumerated 4 steps on how discern which job or life partner to choose. For example, if you are choosing between 2 careers how do you know which one God wants you to take?


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Step 1: Search the Sriptures.
The bible won’t say, Thou art must become a nurse and work in Canada. So look for principles. Is the job righteous? Will you be able to use your skills to honor God? If, for example, the job requires you to lie to people or pose in skimpy underwear, then obviously it doesn’t glorify God and is therefore out of the question. But if both jobs are morally ok, then you’ll have to ask other questions like, “Will I be able to provide for my family?” or “Are there churches near the area?”

If anyone doesn’t provide for his relatives, and especially for the members of his household, he has denied the faith and his worse than an unbeliever.

-1 Timothy 5:8

When I was deciding whether to continue on as a nurse or become a real estate broker, I checked my attitude towards both careers. As a nurse, I would only be mediocre. Nursing is a great vocation. But I just wasn’t passionate about it. When on duty I would often pray for my shift to end as quickly as possible. Excellence in your field of work is one way to glorify God and I knew I would never be excellent as a nurse because I didn’t enjoy it. Real estate, on the other hand, was something that had always interested me. And since I loved sales and dealing with people, I could be excellent in this career if I worked at it.

Step 2: Get wise counsel
Before making a big decision like which job to take, talk to people who know you well. What main skills do you have? Will you be able to excel in this job? Does your personality fit the job you want to take?

If for example, you’re tone deaf, then you probably shouldn’t quit your job to be a singer. Ask your parents, spiritual mentors and trusted friends. These are the people that know you best and they’ll be able to provide valuable inputs.

Step 3: Pray
Prayer is very powerful as it provides a direct line to God. When I was still deciding whether being a real estate broker was for me, I prayed about it. I didn’t ask for a road map. I didn’t even ask for a guarantee for success. I knew that I could fail as a broker just as easily as I could fail as a nurse. But I felt that real estate was more for me because of the circumstances – everything just happened to fall into place. My skills and interests also leaned more into sales and marketing rather than the medical field. And I felt that this was where I could truly make a difference.

Step 4: Make a decision.
Don’t overanalyze. Deciding not to decide is also a decision. Once you’ve prayed, asked for advice, read scripture and weighed the pros and cons, then you need to decide. The whole point of having a job is to honor God. So whether you choose to be a nurse, entrepreneur, teacher or real estate broker (like me), just make sure you give glory to God through your work. Excellence in the work place is a great testimony to people and it can show them who God is in your life without you having to say a word. And you can only be excellent if you love what you’re doing.

When I started Truly Wealthy Realty with my partners, I didn’t really know what exactly I was doing. I was new in the field and knew next to nothing about it. Since we were still building on our skill set and experience, we relied solely on our values in making decisions. Is this the right thing to do? Is this fair for everyone? Our values acted as our compass and it still holds true today.


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According to DeYoung, choosing who to marry is a lot like choosing a job. It may sound unromantic but that’s wisdom for you. It’s not about romance but about focusing on God’s plan for you.

Step 1: Search the Scriptures.
The Bible won’t tell you whom to marry. But it tells you “how” to marry. First, marriage should be between man and woman only. Second, marry someone with the same faith. You want to be with someone who you can grow spiritually with. The spiritual maturity of both parties should also be taken into consideration before engaging in a relationship. We must first grow in Christ on our own to avoid being distracted. On the practical side, you may also want to check your personalities. Do your personalities complement each other? Do you work well together? Will being with this person make you a better person? Will he be able to provide for the family?

 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

-2 Corinthians 6:14

Step 2: Get wise counsel
Do your spiritual mentors feel like you’re ready to be in a relationship? Do your parents approve of your choice? Do your friends think you’ll be a good match? It’s important to get the opinion of the people who know and love you because you can be sure that they’ll have your best interests at heart. Courtship involves more than just the two of you.

If, for example, you’re parents don’t approve,then you’ll have to rethink your choice. The bible says to honor your parents and going ahead with the courtship without their approval doesn’t honor them.

Step 3: Pray
Ask God for guidance. Check your motives. Are you getting married just because “it’s time” to get married? Or because you think that this person will be a good provider? Or because you’re physically attracted to the person? Attraction and looking at his ability to provide isn’t necessarily wrong. But this should only come second to “Will this person allow me to grow in Christ?” and “Does he love God more than he loves me?”

Whether we are single or married, our mission is to honor God first and foremost, so this must always take first priority in our lives. If being in a relationship allows you to honor God more, then go be in one. Just remember to honor your parents, ask for counsel and discern about it in prayer before making a decision. And before praying for Mr. or Ms. Right, you may want to consider becoming the “right” person first. Most of the time, the delay is not with God but with us.

Step 4: Make a decision.
According to DeYoung, if a guy likes a girl, you’re both spiritually mature Christians and your friends and family aren’t panicking that you actually like each other, then you should probably go for it. Once you’ve prayed about it and asked for counsel, what’s left to do is act. You will never really know what the outcome will be unless you try.


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“Love is not really a mystery. It is a process like anything else. A process that requires trust, effort, focus and commitment by two willing partners”

-Elizabeth Bourgeret

DeYoung’s take on discerning God’s will is practical and applicable. I think the bottom-line in making decisions, whether it’s in choosing a career, a spouse or something else is to seek God first and commit to honoring Him in everything we do. When we do this, our decisions, no matter what they may be, will be pleasing to Him.


1 Comment on How to Discern Gods Will In Choosing a Job or Life Partner

  1. Iha
    March 5, 2016 at 3:42 am (3 years ago)

    God is not the author of cfisuonon. I feel God has given you strength and wisdom thru the cirmumstancies and challenges you have faced over the past several years and its made you a better person. He has helped you prepare for your next journey. He never wants us to be in an environment that causes pain and cfisuonon. So many doors are shutting and it might be time to move to your next assignment. Jeremiah 29:11 says: I have plans to prosper you. So allow him to do his work in you. I have had the same questions for God but when I stopped questioning what he was trying to teach or do for me he opened a door that has truly blessed me. He slammed other doors that satan tried to confuse me that it was the right thing to do. God told Abraham to go and he didn’t know where he was going but he obeyed. God made him one of the most wealthiest ever. Be still and know that I am God. What an awesome God we have.


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